In this final edition of Shire Network News for 2009, we speak to Pastor Ameal Haddad of Ambassadors For Peace. His idea is that people around the world should have religious freedom. I know, crazy, right? Maybe it's so crazy it might just work through. Check out their website and maybe throw them a few dollars in donations.

 

In Blog News, the British National Party offers to sell out Gibraltar to Spanish fascists, so that's another reason to kick them firmly in the yarbles; former Christian Peacemaker in Iraq turned hostage, turned ungrateful rescued hostage Norman Kember says the religious nutters who kidnapped him and a few others were quite nice blokes really, and they only nailed his head to the floor a little bit; the UK military's top chaplain says these Taliban johnnies are actually not quit as bad as they're painted, and if we could just invite them round for some of the Ladies Guild's delicious pancakes with strawberry jam, he's quite sure we could sort out all this "blowing civiilians up and trying to kill British troops" nonsense, which was probably the result of a misunderstanding somewhere, I mean everyone's a decent enough sort of chap deep down aren't they?; a man attending a Palestinian Carol service in London tells Jews what he thinks of them; those rascally Hebrews are once again feeding teenage Palestinian girls magic Jew gum that makes them horny (teenagers really need chemical assistance to make them think about sex, as you know); and we have an update on the dancer who took taxpayers money in order to have an epileptic fit on stage. It's Art - you peasants wouldn't understand. But we'll still take that Arts Council cash off you, thanks mate.

 

Meryl Yourish brings us a revealing interview with Al Gore, aka the man behind the curtain we're not supposed to pay any attention to, Doug Payton proudly prognosticates on his prodigious powers of precognition, and Brian of London is still brutally occupying Tel Aviv. Possibly after taking the advice of that bloke at the carol service who wants all Jews to "f**k off back to Israel", although oddly enough people like him seen equally determined that Jews should simultaneously get out of Israel as well. Logic doesn't seem to be their strong suit.

 

And Tom Paine in Melbourne talks about the meaning of the season. Swords and prodigious amounts of throat-punching and face-smashing are involved. Physical and spiritual resistance to evil are both considered and found to be important in their own way, and the Maccabean dynasty continues to get it's by now customary poor performance reviews. There's nothing B+ about the Maccabees, we're talking about an initial burst of wild enthusiasm, followed by the dawning realisation that putting them in charge was in reality a really, really bad idea which we would all pay for in the long run.

 

Not that we're drawing any historical parallels or anything...