Shire Network News - All Postings

176 Podcast Promotes Religious Freedom For Everyone

Brian of London — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 04:28:21 +0000

In this final edition of Shire Network News for 2009, we speak to Pastor Ameal Haddad of Ambassadors For Peace. His idea is that people around the world should have religious freedom. I know, crazy, right? Maybe it's so crazy it might just work through. Check out their website and maybe throw them a few dollars in donations.

In Blog News, the British National Party offers to sell out Gibraltar to Spanish fascists, so that's another reason to kick them firmly in the yarbles; former Christian Peacemaker in Iraq turned hostage, turned ungrateful rescued hostage Norman Kember says the religious nutters who kidnapped him and a few others were quite nice blokes really, and they only nailed his head to the floor a little bit; the UK military's top chaplain says these Taliban johnnies are actually not quit as bad as they're painted, and if we could just invite them round for some of the Ladies Guild's delicious pancakes with strawberry jam, he's quite sure we could sort out all this "blowing civiilians up and trying to kill British troops" nonsense, which was probably the result of a misunderstanding somewhere, I mean everyone's a decent enough sort of chap deep down aren't they?; a man attending a Palestinian Carol service in London tells Jews what he thinks of them; those rascally Hebrews are once again feeding teenage Palestinian girls magic Jew gum that makes them horny (teenagers really need chemical assistance to make them think about sex, as you know); and we have an update on the dancer who took taxpayers money in order to have an epileptic fit on stage. It's Art - you peasants wouldn't understand. But we'll still take that Arts Council cash off you, thanks mate.

Meryl Yourish brings us a revealing interview with Al Gore, aka the man behind the curtain we're not supposed to pay any attention to, Doug Payton proudly prognosticates on his prodigious powers of precognition, and Brian of London is still brutally occupying Tel Aviv. Possibly after taking the advice of that bloke at the carol service who wants all Jews to "f**k off back to Israel", although oddly enough people like him seen equally determined that Jews should simultaneously get out of Israel as well. Logic doesn't seem to be their strong suit.

And Tom Paine in Melbourne talks about the meaning of the season. Swords and prodigious amounts of throat-punching and face-smashing are involved. Physical and spiritual resistance to evil are both considered and found to be important in their own way, and the Maccabean dynasty continues to get it's by now customary poor performance reviews. There's nothing B+ about the Maccabees, we're talking about an initial burst of wild enthusiasm, followed by the dawning realisation that putting them in charge was in reality a really, really bad idea which we would all pay for in the long run.

Not that we're drawing any historical parallels or anything...

175 Podcast Calls For The Application of Rule .303

Brian of London — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:53:45 +0000

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In this episode of Shire Network News, Brtish foreign policy specialist and non-insane person (the two tend to be mutually exclusive these days) Robin Shepherd talks to Tom Paine about a new TV documentary in which the UK's foreign policy is portrayed as completely in thrall to sinister, shadowy "Zionist" businessmen, who manipulate politicians and journalists from the shadows. It turns out the British media is totally controlled by these "Zionists", which I must say is quite a relief. Here was me thinking they were a pack of Jew-hating arseholes who never missed a chance to tell lies about Israel and whitewash Islamist groups! I recommend watching such programs, it's really rather comforting to be told we secretly run the world. Makes a change from the usual threats to slaughter us all with knives and/or drop atomic bombs on us until we're not alive any more.

Mr Shepherd is also the author of "A State Beyond the Pale: Europe's Problem With Israel". Heh. Beyond the Pale. That's clever that is. Historical allusion to Eastern Europe and the Pale of Settlement. See, and they say an Oxbridge education isn't worth as much as it used to be. That's some some quality referencing and clever juxtapositioning right there in the title, imagine how good the book itself is going to be.

Doug Payton lists the achievements of Obama's first year in office (hint, he's taking the piss), Meryl Yourish reveals that David Ickes was right all along, and Brian of London suggests the Palestinians be made to sit on the naughty stool until they give Gilad Shalit back.

In Blog News, the Royal Navy covers its reputation in some lame-ass shit as it tries to pretend that having Somali pirates capture British citizens on the high seas while an RN vessel loaded with Royal Marines sits back and watches the entire process without doing anything about it is perfectly normal. The terrifying thing is, in the modern Navy with everyone at the top level heavily indoctrinated with political correctness, sitting around with one's finger us one's nose may well be the new normal.

And for any of our colonials who might be about to make a crack about goddamn limey fruits, limp dicks and other merry traditional trans-Atlantic jibes, the US Navy Seals who captured the bastard responsible for the murder and hideous mutilation of four US security guards in Fallujah are now facing a trial because the guy now sports a fat lip. This is not a positive development, to say the least.You can't fight a war as if it's an episode of Law & Order. Mind you, putting Fred Thompson in charge would not be the worst idea around.

We hear a detailed explanation about the constitutional and electoral process under which some random Belgian with freakish hair became Supreme Leader of Europe.

We have some fun with BNP leader Nick Griffin, and document the decadent collapse of the West via the medium of an artist" who is getting paid pubic money to hold a "dance" event consisting of her having an epileptic seizure on stage. When your society sponsors artists for whom the first stage of their inspiration consists of "stopping their medication" I think we can agree the game is basically over.

Oh and would be be a dear and go vote for SNN in the Podcast Awards? It's so embarrassing if we come in dead last. Especially if it's the final podcast awards before the total collapse of western civilisation. Boy would our face be red if that happened and we didn't have another chance to do better next year! Shire Network News will be back again in two weeks time, assuming any of us are still alive.

174 Podcast Asks Why New Zealand Is So Damned PC

Brian of London — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:20:45 +0000

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This week's special guest is New Zealand journalist and author Ian Wishart, who explains why New Zealand is, if you can believe such a thing, even more PC, multi-culti and obsessed with apocalyptic global warming than Canada.

He also has some excellent books for sale at his website, in particular Air Con and Eve's Bite.

Doug Payton wants us to reclaim the word bonkers, which you don't hear nearly enough these days, especially when describing some of our alleged national leaders.

Meryl Yourish examines the US government's attitude to terrorism, which it doesn't seem keen on calling terrorism, and it sets her right off. She is not alone in this.

And an old friend, Brian of London, is back in the Zionist Entity, opressing, discriminating and occupying for all he's worth. He may be facing rocket attacks from Hizbollah in the north and Hamas in the south, random bomb blasts from terrorist infiltrators plus the threat of nuclear annihilation from the general direction of Iran over the eastern horizon, but at least it beats a cold, dark November freezing his tuchis off in north-west London.

If you enjoy Shire Network News, why not vote for us at the Podcast Awards? We're listed in the 'Best Political Podcast' category.

173 Podcast Discovers British Muslims for Secular Democracy - 173

Brian of London — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:40:57 +0000

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This week's show features a special guest - Tehmina Kazi, Director of British Muslims for Secular Democracy. Yes, at last! Break out the bunting and set off some fireworks, the moderates seem to have discovered their voice at last. And although we have the audio from their wonderful ad attacking the pro-jihad lunatics we so often see on TV, do be sure and watch the video as well. They're scheduled to stage a counter-demonstration against an Islamist protest in London on Saturday, so they don't lack guts. Give them your support.

Doug Pyaton asks what would have happened if Bushhitler McHalliburton, the world's dumbest evil genius, aka former President George W Bush, had even considered doing some of the things President Obama has done to the media. Remember, it's not a threat to free speech of a Democrat does it.

In Blog News we hear about a Lib-Dem Council in the UK banning all adults, including parents, from children's playgrounds;.

And we ponder the balance between legitimate needs for public surveillance against potential terrorist activity on the one hand, and freaking out, screaming incoherently that "they" are coming to murder us all in our beds and running around like our hair was on fire on the other. Security is important and the threat has not been invented by Dick Cheny to boost the value of his stock portfolio. On the other hand, I'd prefer that the government not give me a rectal probe every time I get on a tram. Andrew Sullivan may have a different view, I really don't know.

Jimmy Carter says something that would get a Republican put on CNN on an hourly basis under the headline "Resignation Watch, Day Two", but he gets away with it because...er...well because he's a Democrat and it's not racism if a Democrat does it. It's just not, okay? Which party was it that all those politicians and sheriffs down south belonged to, the ones who stood in schoolhouse doors and set dogs and fire hoses on black demonstrators? Clue: it wasn't the Republican party.

An amusing and provocative high school answering machine message turns out to be a fake. A funny, satirical, genius-level fake.

And we heartily endorse a new campaign to "make deadshits history". Warning - Aussie style harsh language!

Plus a plea for all your foreigners to harden up and travel to Australia. Latest figures indicate that some tourists actually survive the experience!

Podcast Opposes A Military Coup (Directors Cut) - 172

Brian of London — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:45:11 +0000

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Second Upload! The first one was cut short, probably caused by an Islamic insurgency.

In this week's Shire Network News podcast, host "Tom Paine" interviews retired US Army special forces Colonel Gordon Cucullu about the effects of Obama Derangement Syndrome on the conservative side of politics in America - especially one particularly lunatic suggestion by columnist John Perry that President Barack Obama might be removed from power in a military coup. You remember how well those have worked out wherever they've been attempted in the past?

Oh, and if John Perry gets to hear about this, we are open to having him on the show as a feature guest to respond to our no doubt unfounded and ill-informed criticisms of his brilliant idea. Yes, advocating a military coup to overthrow the democratically elected President of the United States, always a fast track to wealth, success and respect. Bring a whole bunch of really good arguments John, but be warned, we tend not to lose arguments on this podcast. Especially about minor, trivial, completely inconsequential things like, oh, I don't know, upholding the Constitution of the United Staes! I can't remember the part where it says "...unless you don't like the President's policies, in which case just have some blokes in uniform show up to tell him he can take the rest of the afternoon off, hell, take the rest of his term, his services are no longer required." I must have been out taking a whiz when we covered that bit in first year political science.

Oh, and buy Colonel Cucullu's book about Gitmo, it's amazing what the mainstream media haven't told you about it.

Meryl Yourish is along to pile on the juvenile scorn about President Obama being awarded the Nobel Prize for Not Being George W Bush; and Doug Payton sells us some government cheese.

In Blog news we discuss the latest scientific research conducted in the field of controlled building demolitions and the viscosity of steel in extreme heat environments carried out by Professor Charles Sheen of the University of California Center For the Study of the Effect on Humans of Advanced Chemical Compounds and Prolonged Sex With Whores. In particular, we attempt to answer the age old philosophical conundrum of why that man even has a career in the first place.

British teachers reveal their fight against the dangers posed by patriotism, a boy gets a permanent black mark on his school record and is forced to make a public apology for playing soldiers, Christians aren't allowed to put up flyers at their local library while Muslims can, and New Zealand prime minister John Key makes a triumphant appearance on Letterman. Makes you wonder what Dave made him do to get that, huh? [rim shot] We have an alternative top ten list of reasons to visit New Zealand, and no, "Because my cousin who runs a fishing charter business in the Bay of islands needs the money" isn't one of them, true though it might be.

And we end with two visions of achieving peace. We favour one over the other. See if you can guess which one, and why.

Oh, and before we forget, it's that time of year again, when the Podcast Awards take nominations. Show your support for the best podcast on the planet. (And while you're there, nominate Shire Network News, too.)

http://podcastawards.com/

According to the voting rules, you can nominate one show for either "People's Choice" or "Best Produced" *and* one other category. Let's pool our voting power and go for the "People's Choice" and "Political" categories. While SNN does do satire, it's not aiming to be a comedy podcast, and while we do occasionally pan Michael Moore movies, the "Movies / Films" category is a bit of a stretch.

You only get one shot at nominating, so make sure the URL is okey dokey:

http://www.snnsite.com/

And thanks for your nomination!

172 Podcast Opposes A Military Coup

Brian of London — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:16:30 +0000

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Oh, and buy Colonel Cucullu's book about Gitmo, it's amazing what the mainstream media haven't told you about it.

Meryl Yourish is along to pile on the juvenile scorn about President Obama being awarded the Nobel Prize for Not Being George W Bush; and Doug Payton sells us some government cheese.

And we end with two visions of achieving peace. We favour one over the other. See if you can guess which one, and why.

171 Podcast Accounts For Its Sins

Brian of London — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 20:46:39 +0000

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Shire Network News is taking a break for the Jewish High Holy Days, but "Tom Paine" is along to apologise for the break in transmission, explain the significance of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, confess his sins and reveal his fatal Peter, Paul & Mary connection. Is there an organistion to help former leftists who can't completely break away from their emotional attatchment to the folk music of their childhood? Are you a foriegn policy hawk, small government advocate or pro-Israel activist, but still have old Woody Guthrie, Odetta and Phil Ochs LPs at the back of your closet? Do you attend PNAC seminars about US global force projection in the 21st century while daydreaming about getting off a bus in Oxford, Mississippi, in 1965 with a bunch of other students and getting attacked by a mob of racists? Did you smile at obscure reference in "A Mighty Wind" while other conservatives Just Didn't Get It? Yeah, you're not alone.

170 Podcast Asks Spengler About the Decline of the West

Brian of London — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:12:05 +0000

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In this fortnight's installment of the premier pro-Western political satire podcast in the English speaking world (not the most fiercely contested category, granted, but we like to keep the flag flying) we hear about the decline of the West from Asia Times columnist "Spengler".

He recently outed himself as actually being David Goldman, who is a harpsichordist of some note, an economist, writer, history buff and general Renaissance man. I didn't ask him to rub his belly and pat his head at the same time, but I'm pretty confident he would be perfectly capable of doing so, while simultaneously chiding me for my sloppy comparison of the modern European Union with the Plains Indians in the 1890s. Warning - don't even think of trying to out-clever this man.

I think my IQ shot up by ten points just by being in the same room. Yes, yes, I know, that would be a promotion from moron to merely being as thick as two short planks, most amusing, see I can fill in your inevitable comments before you even make them.

Meryl Yourish is along to try to count the number of Czars President Obama has created (hint: WAY more than the Romanovs!) and in blog news we bring you the cheerful news that British soldiers will now train with blanks instead of live rounds. Next year the MOD expects to equip combat regiments with the latest Labour Party approved non-lethal firearms that have a stick inside them which pops out when your pull the trigger and a flag with the words "Bang" unfurls. I think the idea is that Johnny Taliban will die laughing.

Hamas objects to a history curriculum containing history, on the grounds that it's a part of history they don't much care for. Hamas clearly are in the running to take over curriculum development for several formerly western nations. Some say that actually happened years ago, we just weren't paying close attention.

We have an entry which we think will win top prize in World's Most Unintentionally Hilarious Suicide Bombings, the Muslim Public Affairs Committee in the UK, in yet another example of Do As I Say, Not As I Do, objects to a political candidate on racial grounds (no prizes for guess which race), and David Thompson brings us more examples, as if more were needed, of the decadence and depravity that is modern academia. I mean, who wouldn't want to get front row seats to a seminar on: Embodying Posthumanist Intersectionality and Resisting Transhumanist ‘Enhancement’ Through Feminist Veganism? Uh, can anyone translate that into English? Should we even make the attempt?

169 Podcast Sceptical on Global Warming

Brian of London — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:34:17 +0000

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In this edition of Shire Network News, we hear about the scientific opposition to the current global warming fad, so popular among arm-flailing hysterics these days. Professor Ian Plimer, author of "Heaven and Earth" is our feature guest. Play this for your grennie friends and watch their head explode!

Meryl Yourish is along to comment on wha happens when "moderate" Palestinians do extreme things (nothing apparently), and Doug Paytom discussesreligious persecution of a kind you'll find is curiously missing from the pages of the Guardian.

In Blog Ners, the Scottish government frees the Lockerbie Bomber, and if that doesn't cause a zombie army of dead Scots soldiers to rise from their graves to feast on the flesh of the Scottish Nationalist Party then nothing will. It'd probably be shortlived, I understand zombies need brains, and there's little evidence of that among the SNP.

A Swedish mainstream newspaper discovers its inner Nazi and informs the public that the Jews are murdering people to steal their organs. Next week I'm sure they'll be onto well-poisoning and by the end of the year Jews will doubtless be held ccountable for spreading the Black Death as well. Welcome Europe in the 21st century. Orth 12h. Isso eas to eh nmneras mixedup.

The UK foriegn minister, David Milliband says terrorism can be justified in some circumstances, and wonders why everyone is getting upset about it, and a Palestinian man sells land to Jews and is sentenced to death. See above comment about which century we're living in.

And MSNBCiscovers it has an amazing ability to turn a black man white through the miracle of cropping video footage. It's all part of the whacky World Of Tomorrow that is the 21st centiry. This is NOT what my science fiction novels promised me as a teenager. It was all supposed to be engineers, rocketeers, steely-eyed scientists with slide rules and rationaility by now. Who knew the peasants with flaming torches and pitchforks would make such a comeback?

And a huge apology from Brian of London who was devastatingly late in getting this show out. Tom, Meryl and Doug... I'm sorry. I blame the global Jihad of course!

168 Podcast Dissects Obamacare

Brian of London — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:43:39 +0000

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In this fortnightly show, Meryl Yourish tells us how government run health care is profoundly un-American, and why Obama will fail in his attempt to turn the US into Europe.

We have some excellent news from the front lines on the war on terror...you know, the one the Obama administration insists doesn't exist? It seems a top Asian terror master has gone down in a hail of Indonesian bullets, an Islamic cult in Nigeria has been brutally yet effectively massacred by the policeand army, and a Taliban leader in Afghanistan is taken out by a Black Watch sniper...from ONE MILE AWAY! We detect a trend here, and long may it continue.

We catch up on the latest Metropolitan Police rules on what WPCS must wear in mosques, and what police officers shouldn't.

And what appearsto be a radical and exciting new approch to making economic policy has emerged at a public hearing in Santa Cruz. You won't believe your ears! (Seriously).

Doug Payton also makes a passing reference to liberal clergy who apparently thought putting a Bible in an art gallery and asking people to write things in it would be a wizard wheeze which couldn't possibly go horribly wrong.

They might like to try that with a Koran, but apprently even liberal christians have a vestigal sense of self-preservation, even if they would never admit to themselves the real reason they'd never pull the same stunt with Islamic scripture.

And we say a very special hello to the newest additions to the SNN family - baby boys for both Brian of London/Tel Aviv and Damian Penny in Halifax, Nova Scotia! Mazal Tovs all round...